ive taken a lot a lot a lot of drugs in my life. not illegal technically, i mean i drank and drove plenty times, and was drunk in public plenty times, but as far as "illegal" drugs, i only smoked weed twice and one time was in canada so i dont think it counted. ive been popping pills my whole life, but my most mind altering drug use began somewhere around age 14 or 15 if i had to guess. the first long term prescription drugs i was on was zoloft, and xanax, and to save lengthy boring explanations of the 23 or so following years, some combination of two drugs like those, and some others to mix it up a bit. currently i take 8 pills a day. all "mood altering." but in the legal way, in the dumb down so im not scared to leave my house way. well, most days it works.
anyway, i was thinking over my lifetime, how many pills have i swallowed? even in the last 6 years on my current drugs, ive taken 8 pills, 365 days per year, for a total of 23,360. thats just in eight years, and i know that for sure. if i add another 17 years at a very conservative 2 pills a day, that brings the life total of psychiatric pills to 35,770. that seems excessive, and i can tell you is totally under estimated. there are differnt dosages and potences but you get my point. alot of pills and im not sure if its been worth it.
i guess im not anxious or panicked write now, but for long periods, while on drugs, i have been. its all legal. even if you pour alcohol on it. i hope they make marijuana and other natural drugs legal federally and figure out a way to get it off the drug test for my commercial license because id really like to give those options a shot. i wonder if ill ever stop pills. i dont have a desire, other than convenience and side effects, but not enough to outwiegh the help i assume they are giving me. like i said, long periods of instability even on drugs. 35770 pills. i wonder what ive spent on that. i wonder what the actuall cost to manufacture that was. its strange. whatever. im gonna watch silicon valley now. funny. and they get to smoke weed. i cant even try it.
anyway, i was thinking over my lifetime, how many pills have i swallowed? even in the last 6 years on my current drugs, ive taken 8 pills, 365 days per year, for a total of 23,360. thats just in eight years, and i know that for sure. if i add another 17 years at a very conservative 2 pills a day, that brings the life total of psychiatric pills to 35,770. that seems excessive, and i can tell you is totally under estimated. there are differnt dosages and potences but you get my point. alot of pills and im not sure if its been worth it.
i guess im not anxious or panicked write now, but for long periods, while on drugs, i have been. its all legal. even if you pour alcohol on it. i hope they make marijuana and other natural drugs legal federally and figure out a way to get it off the drug test for my commercial license because id really like to give those options a shot. i wonder if ill ever stop pills. i dont have a desire, other than convenience and side effects, but not enough to outwiegh the help i assume they are giving me. like i said, long periods of instability even on drugs. 35770 pills. i wonder what ive spent on that. i wonder what the actuall cost to manufacture that was. its strange. whatever. im gonna watch silicon valley now. funny. and they get to smoke weed. i cant even try it.
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