havent written for awhile and i dont think i care i am too impatient on my new adventures and abandon them if they arent succesful.  like the 4 spelling errors in that last sentence.  to hell with it.  anyway, the website actual blog thing is on track, as in, ive made 5 or 6 posts.  no traffic on the first bunch but the last one i decided to do a recipe/tutorial on what i eat for dinner.  and its the same meal for the past year, and on non workdays its breakfast too.  well i really eat 2 meals a day so whatever you call them its that.  thats not the point. the point is aparently there are a lot of lonely moms online swapping recipes and supporting each other because overnight it got *gasp...... 5 views and likes.  yea, not exactly a smash hit or anything but that is infinitely more traction than my way more time consuming how to posts have gotten.  also did a you tube video for it, 16 views in a week.  i think at least half of those are ...

i put a video on you tube of the dog sleeping and snoring.  its lame but when im going crazy and wish i could sleep i like to find stuff on there that is more ambient, white noise type stuff.  id like to get a tripod set up and video the dog sleeping for a long time and have a really long video that i could put on and have the sounds of her breath.  is that creepy? i think if it was a person it would be, but puppy snoring is different.  still no views on my website with wordpress.  i just added yoast seo keyphrase or something yesterday.  actually, i have -2 views for some of the days, not sure how that works.  have 4 articles, 2 are ok, 2 are pretty hastily designed and dumpy.  the info is good, but i have a hard time making it seem commercialized and clicky.  i tend to write like i talk.  except when i make a pledge to not swear.   and also when i write i become all pompous and act like im smart and use big words like pompous...

ok i missed a bunch of days.  i feel bad, but not really.  website still has not traffic, and im barely on track with my 1 article a week goal, i have an idea for this week, so i'll work on it this weekend.  i dont understand how to use the plug ins for wordpress.com but i think i may have figured out how to get signed up for google analytics or something and supposedly that can help with seo traffic and other stuff i dont understand.  im taking the challenge from listenening to the guys at listen money matters podcast.  they said if you make a wordpress site and write 50 articles in a year, you should be able to make 1000 bux a month by the year end.  i really home so, and im ashamed to admit that the money is my motivation, but it is.  i wouldn't waste time doing it for free.  im realizing that i dont really have any niche talents or viewpoints.  i know a little about alot of subjects, but not a lot alot about any specialized thing.  s...

what do you call it when you dont feel guilty, but you feel like you should, so that feeling influences your actions?  poe ejemplo: say u dont care about choking whales to death with plastic, but you know its kind of a big deal to people.  so, you dont think twice about buying plastic bottles and throwing them overboard as you yacht around the globe as epstien's bunkmate.  however, you dont want the people at whole foods to know you dont care about plastic, so you feign guilt and buy the glass bottle water which is 3 times more expensive and put it in a reusable bag with the stiching that will fail when you swing your car door shut clutching it to get inside in a hurry to wipe your hard drive.  so.  that feeling.  not guilt, but the rational thought of "hey, a non-sociopath would feel guilty doing this, so i ought not to, otherwise i'll be such labeled."  maybe its just desire to fit in.  like, if the grocery store was 100% ran and employed by wha...

my mind is blank but i am pretending to be a writer so i am forcing myself to sit down and write. this weekend i wrote to articles for my other wordpress blog and they turned out ok.  i think they are helpful and informative, but i have no clue if or how anyone would ever find them.  i have an idea for another but it's more of a product review.  they dont look as good as i had hoped, but they do look good enough, and it's self helpy diy fix it stuff so i dont think the presentation matters quite as much as the content does.  i want it to be accurate, easy to understand and with no filler crap that goes on and on.  im trying to write articles about the type of stuff that youd google when your working around the house.  so you are either looking at your phone, or coming inside to a pc and wanting quick answers.  the problem is, as i have definetly looked stuff up as i get stuck on a project, i dont exacttly read the articles, i skim and get to what i nee...

so wordpress is hard.  or i am old, or dumb or something.  either way its frustrating as heck and i wanna quit but whatever.  gonna grind it out.  see what happens.  didnt put my name anywhere on the site and did private registration so itd take someone smarter than anyone i know to find out who's behind the latest fall flat on your face stupid blog website garbage fire.  so if you wanna out me as a failure, too late.  i just did. 

got wordpress 2 year plan yesterday, the premiium plan for 180 bux for 2 years.  im allready frustrated and taking a break right now from the set up of the page.  it looks like i dont know what im doing, which is pretty fair and accurate.  unbalanced, unbiased, fox news.  screw you this is the rambling of a crazy man.  sometimes when im super frustrated or trying to be funny i do the old "finger gun to the head" gesture.  like, when something is so ridiculously boring or annoying you suggest that blowing your own brains out might be better than listeneng to some co worker drone on and on about how he rode his bike to get ice cream last weekend. anyway, i did that through the glass at work to two of my supervisors as they were having a closed door meeting.  i hope they dont think im suicidal.  it was meant to be funny.  maybe itd be good if they think im suicidal.  they might give me a huge raise to try to raise me out of the funk they'd...